


Between You And Me, There's One More

by WatsonMySherlock



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Grounder Culture, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4696331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatsonMySherlock/pseuds/WatsonMySherlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke realizes she's pregnant and there's a lot to figure out including who the father is, but Earth waits for no man -or woman, or baby- and in the midst of it all they still have to deal with the grounders and their Commander, Camp Jaha and the 100 coming together. Plus, God knows where Jaha and Murphy disappeared to, is Octavia supposed to be a grounder now? and what the hell are we going to do about the survivors at Mount Weather?!</p><p>CANON DIVERGENCE - Follows the events of the show up until the Season 2 finale, except Lexa honors the alliance and fights alongside the Sky people to free the prisoners from Mount Weather. Some are killed, including President Wallace, Cage and the Evil Doctor lady, but those who surrendered, Maya, and the children, were allowed to live and are still kept inside the mountain. Also, there's the little detail of Clarke being with someone other than Finn. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How about some life changing news, huh Clarke? Yeah, let's do that.

I can't remember the day I became a mom but I remember the exact moment I knew I was pregnant.

It was a strangely hot day in the middle of August, a few days after we freed our people and the grounders from Mount Weather. It was so hot even inside the medical tent I could feel the hair sticking to my forehead and to the nape of my neck. I tried to wipe some of the more intrusive strands with the back of my wrist before getting back to the bandage on Monroe's leg. She'd caught it on a particularly vicious vine the week before but it seemed to be getting better, the deep gash had reduced to a mean-looking line with clean but bruised edges.

"I think in a week or so you can do without the bandage all together. Just keep it clean and try not to put so much strain on that leg or it'll start ripping again." Looking at the bandage one last time I had to admit it looked fine for a torn piece of fabric held together by the scrap metal clips Finn made. Thinking of Finn was getting easier but it still made me hollow with guilt.

Monroe was about to hop down from the exam table but thought better of it once she read the silent warning in my eyes. Instead she smiled and slid off carefully, throwing back a quick "Thanks Clarke!" before scurrying out into the camp.

I was alone in the tent for the first time in hours. I didn't even know how long it'd been since sunrise but the bright yellow star must have been high up the sky judging by the heat. I closed my eyes for a moment and let my whole body relax as I threw my head back with a sigh. I stretched my neck out left, then right, in an attempt to ease the soreness on my bacK. I'd been feeling off for a week already, like I was waiting for a nasty flu that wouldn't come. It was annoying as hell. If I were sick, I could treat myself and feel better. Instead I was left with this sensation of 'not being well' and a dull aching all over that felt like lazy period cramps.

That's when I realized the flu wasn't the only thing that wouldn't come. It started off as curious worry but as I counted back the days, the weeks, to the last time I remembered being on my period I suddenly felt the tent get smaller and smaller, my body jumping to conclusions as I fought to keep calm and concentrate.

I couldn't remember being on my period any time in the past four weeks. My stomach was tightening. _What about before that?_...

…

…

Nope, nothing. _Oh, God._ It'd been what... six, seven weeks? _Oh, my God._ The tightening on my stomach was rising to my chest, pressing on it and threatening to leave me gasping for air. I was panicking. I couldn't panic, I had to think. Think and figure out what was going on with my body. Maybe I was doing the math wrong, maybe this was all just a big scare about nothing.

The flap on the tent slid open and through it came Raven bending down to avoid knocking down the frail structure down.

"Hey, Clarke," she said straightening up once inside. "Miller's looking for you over by the meat hut. I think some kid slashed his finger trying to clean up that deer they brought in."

"I'm sorry, Raven." I told her to see if Jackson could check on the kid, that I'd join them later. I needed air and quiet. Most of all I needed to be alone to think this through.

Stepping out of the tent I made my way through the camp, barely registering the weathered faces of my fellow Arkers carrying supplies here and there and the guards in black gear with their concentrated gazes and their riffles at hand.

I tuned out the sounds of the camp, focusing only on my boots over the gravel. The smell of smoked meat was filling the air, and when someone called my name from a distance I just held up a finger and kept on walking, fixed on reaching the front gate.

The guard on duty, a tall, blonde woman with a long face, Major Byrne, stepped in front of me as I approached the electrified wire fence. She held on to the riffle strung across her chest.

"I'm going out to get some herbs for medical," I explained. "They're right outside and we're running low."

Exiting Camp Jaha wasn't exactly prohibited but everyone was on edge, especially the Guard. They were coming to terms with the many dangers that awaited just beyond the trees, from angry grounders and crazy reapers to the horrible Mountain Men.

"You should be back by lunch hour," Byrne said. "There will be a head count for supply distribution." I nodded. The woman hesitated but she finally stepped aside and signaled another guard to swing open the gate.

I walked as fast as I could without raising alarm, zigzagging as I went to avoid the off-white rocks that broke out of the ground every now and then in the irregular grassy area separating the camp from the tree line. I didn't stop until I was surrounded by tall, lanky trees and the ground beneath my boots went from hard rock to the cushioned brown carpet of fallen leaves and pine cones. I let myself slide down to the roots of a sturdy tree trunk, feeling the jagged wood bite into my back.

By then I already knew. It was half medical certainty, half gut feeling. I knew I wouldn't be that scared if it were nothing. I was pregnant. At that very moment there was a living creature growing inside me.

I always thought finding out you were pregnant would feel more- I don't know, more 'maternal', I guess, but it just felt scary. I felt like I was in trouble. Suddenly I was worried about how I was going to tell my mom, which was ridiculous. My mother had sent me to war on a radioactive Earth, she couldn't expect me to come out the other side still being a teenager and playing by the rules. I knew I was older than my years, Earth had made me older, but I guess fear of disappointing your parents is one of those things that never really goes away.

I took a moment to weigh my options. Being pregnant didn't mean I would end up with a baby. A lot of things could happen. A few things could be done. As I thought about it, my hand found its way to my stomach, resting over this phantom idea of a baby. I wasn't attached to it but it didn't feel right to get rid of it, to end its fight for survival.

I threw my head back against the tree a little too forcefully and closed my eyes at the sudden jolt of pain. _Crap._

The fact that there was something wrong with the implants we were given back at the Ark was obvious, at least with mine. It made me angry. If I couldn't be in control of my own body then what the hell was the point? I made a mental note to check for other 'cases' among the girls at camp. We didn't need a baby pandemic spreading out through camp. It was not the time to have babies.

There was a train of ideas going through my head but one definitely jumped out: _Who's the father?_

Just to clear up, it wasn't like I was sleeping with the entire Camp Jaha but there were a couple options and it was the difference between the father being dead and- _Oh, no._

I had to breathe through the panic again and just focus on figuring it out.

The night Charlotte died, the night Finn and I slept together, it seemed like forever ago but I knew it had only been a little over two months. _Nine weeks ago, maybe?_

Finn's baby... I did love Finn but how could I have this baby and not be reminded every day of what I did? How could I ever move past the fact that I put a knife in him and ended his life?

I thought I remembered getting my period after that but I couldn't be sure.  _Who can keep a calendar when you're trying not to die?!_

If it **wasn't** Finn's, then that left me with option number two, that 'other' night. I blamed that night on vulnerability, overall exhaustion and the fact that he's a little too attractive for anyone's good. I still blame on that. After that night we both wordlessly agreed to just move on and not make a big deal out of nothing. It worked fine for us. Besides, we didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it between trying to get our people back from Mount Weather and making sure the Commander sustained our fragile truce.

We were friends, in a weird way. He'd helped me deal with Finn's death and we'd fought this war side by side. We didn't always see eye to eye but we'd come out victorious, if a little traumatized.

Even Lexa had noticed he was important to me. How could he not be? We shared a bond of responsibility despite the fact that neither of us had asked for it. We'd become the unwritten ambassadors of the Sky People and the only ones who The 100 would blindly follow. Still, when I slept with Bellamy, having his baby was not part of the plan.

\------- - -------

A week passed by and I still hadn't talked to Bellamy about it. Every time I saw him around camp it just made my stomach drop and I got this irresistible need to look down. I hadn't told anyone else either. I knew if I was going to tell someone, it had to be him first. I just didn't know what to say. _This is terrible, terrible timing-_

I was going through with the whole thing even if he didn't want to be a part of it. I didn't know how that would work exactly since we lived in a tiny, tiny camp and had nowhere else to go. _Do I even want him to be a part of it?_ It'd be hard enough dealing with it without having to deal with Bellamy. Plus, I had friends, I had my mom. Sure, she'd freak out but in the end I knew she'd have my back. Maybe it'd be for the best if he didn't want to be involved.

As we made our way in silence through the forest surrounded by Jasper, Nathan, Octavia, a few members of the guard and about half-a-dozen grounders, I ventured a glance at Bellamy. He was walking by my side, as usual, bumping his elbow into mine with the ups and downs of the terrain. The reason for this particular trip to Tondc was to work out the terms of a new alliance with Lexa and the clans now that our common enemy was no longer enough of a threat to keep us working together. Technically, we were still trespassing on Woods Clan territory and th-

"You think she'll go for it?"

I had to take a second to regiter what he'd actually said.

"I'm not one to turn down a good fight," Bellamy continued, keeping the conversation just between the two of us, "but all this 'kill and be killed' crap is getting old. I just want to relax, build some houses for a change."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his tone. We were all so tired. _Building houses… Babies need houses, right?_

I cleared my throat in an attempt to clear my head.

"I don't know," I said, thinking back to his original question. "We're doing the best we can. It depends on how good we are at convincing Lexa. They need us to get the Reapers back to normal and we could use their knowledge of the ground to make it through the winter." Lexa could still say no. And then what? Back to a war we couldn't win.

Bellamy gave me a sideways glance. 

"Running low there on the optimism?"

"What can I say? When you're hit one too many times…" I knew the timing couldn't be worse but I had to talk to him. If I kept postponing it, I was going to go crazy. "Listen, Bellamy-"

"Heads up, Princess. The welcoming party's here."

I pushed the confession back down my throat and saw Indra standing in front of us at the hill that led to Tondc. She looked every bit as distrusting of us as ever. The woman was flanked by Lincoln and four more grounders, all warriors with bone masks and blades strapped to their clothing. Lincoln broke from the group to meet Octavia who was already making a beeline for him. They wrapped each other in a all-encompassing hug and I glanced at Bellamy just in time to catch his grimace. _Every time_. I had to smile at how predictable he was when it came to Octavia. Indra's face helped me get rid of the smile and I gave the dark-skinned, mean-looking woman a nod that said 'I'm not here to kill you but I'm not to be trampled on'. She responded with her signature scowl.

"The Commander will see you in her quarters," she said dryly. "No weapons."

That last part was directed at Bellamy who begrudgingly passed the strap of his riffle over his head and handed it to Miller before leaning in to speak to the boy quietly, probably passing on orders to keep his eyes open and not trust the Grounders for a second.

"Shouldn't we be pass this by now?" I said to Indra.

The woman didn't reply, instead she just jerked her head back to a couple of grounders behind her. Bellamy and I went with them leaving Jasper and the others to guard the outside of the tent. Just before going through the flap. Bellamy took a sharp breath and we braced ourselves to pitch our best sale.

\------- - -------

We must have been in there for over two hours. It was an endless tug of war with Lexa to establish the terms of our deal until, finally, it was settled: the Sky people would join the other 12 clans as part of the alliance. We still had to sort out some leadership issues within our camp. To the Grounders, I spoke for the Sky People, but my mom was still the Chancellor so that was bound to bring some problems. We also had to pay some sort of tribute for our land, which now included the drop ship and the graveyard as well as Camp Jaha. Other than that it was done, we were the _Skaicru_ , 13th clan of the alliance led by the Commander.

Speaking of the Commander, Lexa hadn't taken kindly to Bellamy's presence in our conversation at all…

_"What is **he** doing here?" Lexa said the moment we walked into the tent._

_"Bellamy stands with me," I told her._

_"He didn't before," she bit back._

_"Look, Commander," Bellamy said, stressing the title a little too hard. The last thing we needed was another war to break out because Bellamy couldn't keep his no-nonsense attitude in check. "If it makes you feel any better, I'd much rather be outside with my gun, but last time you two were in charge of the decision making my sister almost got blown up with an entire village so yeah, I think I'm going to stick around from now on."_

After that she mostly put up with him. Bellamy followed my lead on the negotiations making a few suggestions here and there. He was the one who wanted to include the drop ship and the burial site as part of our territory. I looked at him and I knew why. That was our beginning, all that we had accomplished and failed at since we landed. For the 100, and now for the Arkers as well, that little piece of land was part of our history.

Once we stepped out from Lexa's tent, Bellamy went to gather Miller and Jasper so we could head back. I knew part of him was also anxious to retrieve his gun. It had become part of his daily attire and he seemed naked without. He probably felt that way too.

I was watching Bellamy talk to Jasper when Octavia came over with Lincoln to tell me she was staying behind. Since Indra had accepted her as her second, the girl parted her time between Camp Jaha and Tondc, staying mostly at the latter. Indra shouted something in Trigedasleng at Octavia and she ran to report back to training. I thought that was it and was ready to go join Bellamy and the others, but Lincoln lingered behind like he had something on his mind.

"Bodies are still being pulled from the wreckage," he said gravely.

The memory of what happened in Tondc was still too fresh in my mind.

"I think we can send a team from the Ark to help rebuild. Engineers, anyone who'd be useful. I'll talk to my mom to set it up."

Lincoln just nodded.

"What is it?"

" _Spechou_ ," he said in a solemn voice.

I didn't recognize that word from my short repertoire.

"It means congratulations. May your womb be strong and full of health, Clarke."

"Lincoln-"

"The way you walk and hold yourself, I've seen many a woman with child. You're in good time. The cold months are ahead but you'll be out of the first stage by then and the child will already be old enough before the next winter. Few are so lucky."

I couldn't say a word. All I could do was stare back at him. Finally I think I managed a 'Thank you' to which he gave me a curt nod and turned to leave.

"Lincoln, wait!" I jogged a little to close the distance between us and glanced around to make sure only he could hear me. "I, um, could you take a look? I'd like to know if everything's ok, maybe see if you can tell how far along I am. I would ask my mom but I'd rather keep this to myself for now. Since you already know-"

"There's a place where we won't be bothered."

"Thank you, Lincoln."

"I'll go tell Octavia to go on without me and then we can leave."

"Oh, you mean go now?" Lincoln's stern face was a clear 'yes'. "Okay, okay, I'll be right back."

It wasn't easy convincing the others to head back without me. Jasper suffered from separation anxiety after the whole Mount Weather ordeal. He'd taken it upon himself to know where everyone was at all times. I assured them Lincoln would escort me back to Camp Jaha after we assessed the situation in Tondc, what was needed for the reconstruction, and how the Arkers could help. I held Bellamy's narrow look until they finally agreed.

\------- - -------

Turns out the place Lincoln was talking about was the cave where he'd taken Octavia to heal her when they first met. It was impossible not to think about the fact that it was also where he stabbed Finn. Back then no one could have predicted where it would all take. Somehow it felt like yesterday and a million years away.

When we first entered the small underground cave I couldn't see a thing. I considered getting a glow stick out from my jacket but Lincoln set to work on a fire right away and before long the space filled with the orangy glow of the flames. I looked around at the things crowding the cave. The rocky walls were covered in sketches. A particularly big one of a mushroom cloud left traces of thin white dust on the tip of fingers.

Lincoln called over to me. He'd set up a few layers of fur on the ground in front of the fire. I removed the buckle with my hand gun and my jacket and set them both on a metal crate by the wall before laying down and waiting for Lincoln to crouch down beside me.

I'd stopped fearing Lincoln a long time ago but being alone in this tiny place, suddenly he seemed bigger. The whole thing was just awkward.

"Relax, Clarke."

I let out a breath and tried to settle, looking straight up at the irregular rocks that formed the ceiling.

He lifted my shirt a bit, up to my bellybutton, and started prodding carefully with warm, calloused hands. I tried not to think about it too much. It helped that Lincoln had a medical air about him as he pushed down on the sides of my lower abdomen and asked the most intrusive questions about my last 'bleeding' and my active sex life. Finally he moved back and I lowered my shirt.

"The child's hold is strong. Your body has started expanding and will begin to swell soon."

"How far along?"

"Five weeks maybe, six at most. It's been growing for less than two months."

The whisper escaped from my lips before I could stop it. "Bellamy-" I looked up at Lincoln and he answered my unspoken plea not to tell Octavia about any of this.

\------- - -------

On the way back to Camp Jaha, Lincoln pointed out what herbs would be dangerous and which ones would help with the baby. I was only half paying attention. The other half was busy thinking about the finality of it all. That was it, I had no more excuses left, Bellamy needed to know. He needed to know I was 'with child', - _his child_.

\------- - -------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned on sitting on this story and only start posting when I had the whole thing ready but I wanted to share this first part with you to get your thoughts on it.
> 
> I'm probably still going to wait until I have all the chapters ready before I continue posting just because I want to make sure I carry this to term -pun intended. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to talk to Bellamy... and maybe someone else.

So that day I didn't tell him either. 

I could have, but I didn't. It was still early when Lincoln dropped me off at the front gate and returned to Tondc. The sun was barely dipping into the horizon, casting a pinkish hue over everything and everyone. I found Bellamy standing with some of the others just gazing at the sunset.

"Pretty amazing, huh?" He was throwing nuts in his mouth and they crunched as he spoke.

"It is." I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. He looked so at peace. Peace was a rarity among us and he deserved it, we all did. I'd let him have his peace for one more day.

That night I didn't sleep much, if I slept at all. I kept glancing at my mom, sound asleep on her cot a few feet from mine. Everyone else was sleeping, why not me? 

_ Well, everyone isn't growing Bellamy Blake's baby inside them. _

Damn implants. 

One night, it was ONE NIGHT!!! Was I not allowed to have just one night?! No, of course I wasn't, I was Clarke Griffin: Designated Crap Holder. How's that for privileged, huh Bellamy?

I was turning sour. There was no need to go sour. Maybe he'd be okay about it, who knows, right? Maybe it would all be okay. Who was I kidding? Of course it wouldn't be okay. Nothing was ever okay. My dad got floated before I was even eighteen and now I was going to have a baby and he would never meet her, or him, or whatever… _Why am I crying?!_       I needed to get a hold of myself.

Finally I pulled myself together but not enough to actually fall asleep. Four times I almost marched right over to Bellamy's tent to tell him everything. Once I even made it to the hall outside the small living quarters they'd assigned to me and my mom, but every time I ended up laying back down on the folded-up tent I called my bed.

I couldn't just waltz in on Bellamy in the middle of the night and drop the news on him like 'Hey, guess what? On top of everything, you're going to be a father now. Okay, good night!'. I needed to do it as smoothly as possible, up my chances of getting a good reaction from him and not make the conversation any worse than it had to be. _Tomorrow's the day. As soon as I see him tomorrow, I will tell him._

With that I settled back into my tent-bed feeling a lot better now that I had an actual plan of action for the next day. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes ready to let sleep take me away. 

It never did. Instead, when the dark blue of the night finally turned into light gray, I decided I'd had enough 'non-sleep', got up and headed outside to splash some cold water on my face. _As soon as I see him…_

\------- - -------

Turns out my plan to tell Bellamy as soon as I saw him wasn't as simple as I thought. It was almost noon and I still hadn't seen him at all. It'd been a crazy morning. From the moment I stepped out of our quarters, they called me into the medical tent. Someone had woken up with a rash and thirty minutes later two other people from his section showed up saying they had it too. There was a moment of panic when everyone thought it must some sort of deadly, contagious outbreak, because of course it would be. That moment of panic  led to an immediate quarantine, myself included.

That was until we realized all three patients had been on the same hunting detail the day before. They followed a wild boar into a swamp that Monty and Jasper already knew -from painful experience- had this bright blue seaweed that was the radioactive version of poison ivy. It gave a nasty rash that stung like hell but it would go away and you could only get it by direct contact with the plant.

Once that was cleared up and I could leave the medical tent in Jackson's hands, I darted to get that splash of water. That's when I saw him. Bellamy was walking towards the mess hall but as I was about to call out to him, he saw me first and headed my way. I ignored the free-falling sensation that came over me. I had to do this, I had to…

"Hey, I heard you had an interesting morning in medical. Everything okay?" His tone was casual and his face barely registered any concern. If only he knew I was about to pull the rug out from under him.

"It was nothing. Poison seaweed from the swamp."

Bellamy made a face, probably remembering Jasper's solemn vow never to go shirtless into the swamp again -not even for a dare.

"Are you on guard duty?" I asked, looking at his riffle.

"I just got off. I was on my way to grab some rations. You want some?"

I shook my head. "We need to talk." _Great, nice line._

"What's up?" His brows were coming together ever so slightly. I could see the bumps right in the middle of his forehead. 

"Not here, come on." 

No one was really paying any attention to us but we were still standing right by the water tank, possibly the worst place in the entire camp to carry on a private conversation. He followed me along the side of the Ark station and waited until we were behind the tall metal ring that used to keep the station floating in space before he stopped and asked to know what was going on.

It was as good a place as any. I turned to face him. Bellamy was frowning, the creases on his forehead as deep as they could be. There were a couple people working on the fence behind us but not nearly close enough to hear. Still I moved closer to him and kept my voice down.

"Remember that night after the bomb on the bridge? The night you and I…"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about that night."

"Yes, well, now I have to." I had to drag the words all the way up from the pit of my stomach. Why was it so hard? I'd burned down three hundred grounders by pulling down a lever and taken down Mount Weather, with Bellamy, by pulling down another. These were just words, they wouldn't change anything. I just had to say it. _Say it!_  "I'm pregnant."

Bellamy looked at me. Then he looked at me. And then he looked at me some more. His brow started twitching. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, still holding on to his riffle, probably to keep hold of something while the earth crumbled beneath him. _Bellamy, say something._ His eyes darted to the sides a little out of focus. I needed to know what was going through his mind.

"Bellamy-"

"Are you sure?"

Finally! Words. We were getting somewhere. Part of me wanted to hug him for not going the obvious jerk way asking if it was his.

"Yes, I'm sure."

He nodded to himself. "Have you decided if you're going to…"

"I'm keeping it." It was the first time I said it out loud. It made it real.

Bellamy nodded more purposely and his shoulders dropped a little. I hadn't realized how tense his body had been. "Good," he said. "That's good."

Did he really think so? 

Bellamy noticed the question on my face and answered it without me asking. "My sister wasn't supposed to happen, but I'm glad she did. He deserves a chance, too."

" _He_?"

Bellamy smirked a little, amused. "Or _her_." He paused a little, considering. "I guess we won't know for a while."

"I guess we won't." I mirrored his amused expression and a bit of the tension eased for a moment. "At least we know what team _you_ 're on."

He let out a nervous scoff and shook his head in disbelief. I knew the feeling. Bellamy took a deep breath and his eyes found mine again. "You're pregnant," he said.

"I am."

Bellamy was still frowning but his eyes were more determined than worried.

"We'll figure it out."

I don’t know how I ever doubted it'd be like that. Maybe it was the memory of our early days bumping heads together, back when I was just 'the privileged Princess' to him and he was just 'a selfish dick' preaching 'whatever the hell we want' to anyone who would listen.  Back then we couldn't agree on the color of the sky, but those days were long gone. We still didn't agree on many things but we always stood together for the common goal. This baby was a common goal. 

_ Our baby…  _

Uh-uh, too soon. No 'us', no 'our'. It was me, and Bellamy, and 'the' baby. We'd work together, we'd figure it out. That's what I found in his eyes. 

"I know," I said. And I did.

\------- - -------

We sat down on some upside-down metal containers, resting our backs on the fallen station. Bellamy had set his riffle on one side and he started picking up pebbles from the ground and throwing them absently at the small black birds that hopped around camp searching for food. One of the birds gave a loud chirp and rose a few feet, startled by a rock that hit too close for comfort, before settling back down on the same spot to continue its search.

Bellamy wanted to know if I was feeling okay and he asked if I had talked to my mom yet. I told him I wanted to wait a few more days. He didn't comment on it.

"Who else knows?"

"Just us," I said. "And Lincoln." Bellamy looked away from the birds and turned to me. "I didn't tell him, he just knew. Apparently I walk pregnant."

He didn't register the joke and just frowned instead.

"Did he tell Octavia?"

"No, I figured you might want to do that."

"Yeah."

"Ok."

He threw another pebble not really aiming for anything.

"So I guess those implants aren't working."

Of course he'd be worried about that. "Relax, I think it's just mine. There won't be a line of little Bellamys waiting for you outside your tent when you get back."

I said it in good humor but he didn't look at all amused, more like uncomfortable. Self-conscious, maybe? A new look for Bellamy. Perhaps teasing Bellamy about his string of women wasn't the same as teasing 'the father of your child' about his string of women. _Adjustments_. The first of many, I was sure.

The silence was starting to feel heavy around us. I didn't know how to just get up and leave so I opted for a subject change.

"They're making the trip to Mount Weather today to talk to the survivors."

"Hmm."

I sighed and pushed through the awkwardness. "They want to figure out what to do now that they're not bleeding the grounders. Radiation is still seeping through the air locks, we need to come up with something soon. My mom's thinking bone marrow transplants. Between Camp Jaha and what's left of the 100, there could be enough of us to do it without dying in the process. There might even be more survivors if other Ark stations made it to the ground."

Bellamy threw one last pebble and decided to join the conversation. He straightened up his back and looked at me. "You think the guys here are going to go for it? After what they went through in that mountain?"

"Some will," I said. I had to believe there was a way this could end well for all of us. "I know Jasper will be first in line to help Maya; others will follow. Many of the survivors are innocent children, the rest were just trying to survive like we all are. And they chose to surrender and help us, help _you_ , get out of there alive when they could have just killed us all."

Bellamy searched my face. "You have a lot of faith in people you don't know, princess."

"I do. So far it's paid well." He had to know I meant that about him, too. Since the day I decided to trust him, he hadn't let me down.

"Like father, like daughter," he said.

Bellamy has freckles on his eyelids. I didn't know that. That's how hard I stared at him after he mentioned my father. Would I have stared at him forever? I don't know, Monty showed up.

"Hey, guys! There you are." He was catching his breath. "Are yo- oh, uh, we were just… we were looking for you. The group's heading out to Mount Weather, I thought you'd want to know. Jasper's kind of impatient."

I had to blink away from Bellamy to try and focus on Monty. _What did he say?_

"Are you coming?"

_ Right, Mount Weather. The group's heading out. Crucial negotiations. Survival. _

"No, I'm staying. My mom can handle that." I said. "Bellamy?"

Bellamy ran his hands over his knees. "I'm staying, too. If I never go back to that mountain, it'll be too soon."

Monty looked disappointed but after a moment he nodded in acceptance and left, almost running, to rejoin the group. Jasper must have really been in a hurry.

"They want us to go," Bellamy said. 'They' meaning 'The 100' -even if there was only less than fifty of us left. 

"I know, but I can't," I admitted, still looking at the turn where Monty had disappeared. _It's too much._ "Not yet."

"I should go get those rations," he said getting up and hanging the riffle back in its rightful place across his back. "I have to be back on the fence in like… ten minutes."

I nodded and followed him up, dusting the back of my impossibly dirty jeans. _Find time to wash clothes. Get new ones from somewhere._

We walked back the way we'd come until we reached the water tank.

"I should head to the medical tent," I said.

"Alright. I'll catch you later. We can talk plans if you want to."

"We will. And Bellamy?... Thank you."

He looked genuinely puzzled.

"For not being a jerk. For asking the right questions,"

Bellamy smirked. "Who have you been talking to, princess? I'm not as bad as they say, you know?"

"You're not half as bad as you _think_ , Bellamy." I reached for his elbow and gave it quick squeeze. "I'll see you later." 

We parted ways with the faintest of smiles on our faces. We could do this. It would be ok _._

\------- - -------

A quick stop by supply distribution and I managed to get a second pair of jeans to change into while I washed the other ones. Crouching by the river not so far from camp, I examined every hole, every tear, and every burn and discoloration on the thick fabric. They were almost as scarred as I was.

I could have washed them at camp, but these precious minutes alone away from Camp Jaha were worth the hike. I wasn't alone for long, though.

There was movement coming from the trees to my right. I could feel it before I heard it: a leaf cracking, a bird flying off to the sky. I didn't get up - _Let them think they have the element of surprise_ -, but I did glance sideways as subtly as I could. A rock was blocking my view. _Damn it_! I couldn't see pass the tree line.

I looked around for anything that could be used as a weapon and settled for a jagged rock big enough to cause some damage but light enough for me to grab it. I let go of the soaked jeans with one hand while the other one closed tightly around the rock. Whoever it was, I could feel them getting closer. in one move, I turned around and got up, lifting the rock high ready to attack.

"Get away!" I said.

"Clarke, wait! Stop, it's me."

The girl held her hands up, one big ass blade in one of them, remnants of dark paint around her eyes. 

"Octavia! What the hell are you doing?" I lowered my hand but it refused to let go of the rock still, just in case.

"I came to talk to you," she said, putting the blade on its satchel next to her hip. "Bellamy said you were out here."

"He told you."

Octavia pursed her lips and eyed me harshly. That particular expression of hers had a way of making you retrace your entire life searching for what you did to offend her.

"Are you okay?" she said.

Blake siblings, so alike.

"I'm fine." My hand finally opened and the rock rolled over the ground back into the water.

"Seriously? 'Cause I'd be freaking out."

"Don't worry, I have my moments." I sighed and crouched back down to continue my attempt at getting semi-clean clothes to wear. I caught Octavia moving out of the corner of my eye. She leaned against a tall rock just on the edge of the river to my right.

"Bell said Lincoln knew. I can't believe he hasn't said a word to me."

"I asked him not to. I had to talk to your brother first."

She didn't reply and for a few seconds we shared the silence, me scrubbing the jeans and her watching the tree tops. Octavia was becoming an excellent scout; she had the eyes of an eagle and sharp reflexes. I pitied the fool who tried to sneak one pass her.

_ Well, I'm pretty sure this is as clean as these jeans are going to get.  _ I stood up to wring the fabric and set in on top of a rock to dry. I turned to look at Octavia. 

"So, you're okay with this?" I asked her.

She inhaled deeply and eyed me for a moment before replying.

"There's not much to be okay with, is there? I mean, you're pregnant. That’s that."

I had no reply for her. I thought we would sink into the most uncomfortable silence, but she spoke again.

"Timing sucks, but I don't think there's ever a right time to sit down and have babies here."

"Lincoln said I was actually lucky. The baby could have been born on winter and that would have been a problem, but it'll be warmer by the time he or she gets here."

"Well, there you go," she said.

"Yeah."

Another silence. My God, this was worst than telling Bellamy.

"Octavia-"

"Look, Clarke," she said, holding a hand up. She pulled away from the rock and took a few steps towards me. "I know things are a little tense between us right now. You almost got me killed but then you didn't, so... I guess we can move past that. I get it, it's war, and you're the one who has to make the hard decisions. It doesn't mean I'm not pissed, but I get it. We're okay."

"Thank you." What else could I say?

"Besides, we're family now. Sort of." Her lip curved up one side in a smile. "First on the ground and now first aunt of the Sky people. Not bad for a girl raised under the floor."

I chuckled and the smile lingered on my face.

"Not bad at all," I told her.

Octavia closed the distance between us and wrapped me in a hug. It was tight and honest, and I lifted my arms to return it.

"We can do this," she said over my shoulder. I nodded against hers. When she pulled away, her eyes were intense and a little watery. Maybe mine were too. She sniffed quickly and stood taller, still looking at me. "You know Bellamy has your back, right?. He may be a dick, but he's the best one out there," she said.

"I know," I told her. And I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and for following this story. It's always great to know what you think. I hope this brightens your day as it does mine :)
> 
> Chapter 3 will take a while because I'm going on vacation, but until then, drop a comment, say hi!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moonshine and moonlight. Three more conversations and the joys of growing a life.

That night, Bellamy found me sitting on a log by the bonfire.

Ever since the leaves started turning and the wind grew colder, there had been two or three bonfires inside camp every night and people gathered around them for a while before hitting the tents. Bellamy emerged from the crowd on the other side of the bonfire. The flames casted shadows of his messy, overgrown hair onto his face and I watched him conversed with a couple people on the way before reaching me.

"Hey," Bellamy greeted.

"Hey." I made room for him on the log and he sat down.

"Someone's had too much moonshine," he said looking at Jasper, who was dancing around the fire like a marionette on drugs, probably still high on endorphins from seeing Maya earlier that day. I grinned. "Sorry you got ambushed by Octavia. She went nuts on me when I told her, I had to give her something."

"It's okay," I said. "There was a moment there where I almost hit her with a rock but in the end it was good." The lines on his face eased out when he realized I was joking. "Did she really give you a hard time?" I asked.

He turned serious again and looked ahead at the fire.

"She may have called me a few things. Apparently she was also under the impression that I was going to ask 'the wrong questions'," he said, calling back to our earlier conversation. I merely smirked at that and after a beat of silence, Bellamy's deep voice sounded again... "Mostly she just couldn't... I think it wasn't so much 'the baby'-" He mouthed the two words more than said them- "that she couldn't wrap her head around, but the fact that it's was you and me who made it."

I laughed and the sound felt foreign to me. How long had it been since I'd had a reason to laugh? Since I'd been allowed to?

"It's not that hard to imagine, is it?" Bellamy's eyes centered on me. "Well, stranger things have happened," I said finally.

"I thought I was going to my grave without ever mentioning that night again."

Bellamy looked at me through the shadows of his hair and I reached for it, threading my fingers through the longer tresses over his forehead.

"You should take care of that. I can't even see your face any more."

Our relationship had stayed casually physical, even after that night. Nothing too intimate or too weird, just a brush of the shoulders, a pat on the back, a hug of relief when one of us thought the other one was dead (that had only happened twice, which was a lot considering how long we'd known each other). It wasn't strange for me to suddenly run my fingers through his hair, right?

He didn't seem to mind. Bellamy was simply looking up at his unintended bangs with a smirk curling up the corner of his mouth.

"Next time you see a barber around camp, let me know."

He didn't try it often, but Bellamy made me smile.

I dropped my hand and we watched the fire, maybe scooted a little closer when a gush of wind picked up from the forest and swept across the camp floating a few leaves and making the flames dance high. After a while Raven showed up with a makeshift tray of cups lip , most likely filled to the rim with Monty's moonshine.

"Herb tea, anybody? Monty's latest batch." She gave us a complicit smile.

The euphemism was meant for the few guards around seeking the warmth of the fire. I was about to grab a cup from the tray when I remembered I shouldn't be drinking Monty's "herb tea" for a while. I missed it already.

"Not for me, thanks," I said pulling my hand back onto my lap.

Raven rolled her eyes impatiently. "Come on, Clarke. This is chill time, you always have one. You said it yourself, it helps with the cold."

"And I think I've had too much already."

She didn't buy it. "What are you talking about? I haven't seen you take one all night. This batch doesn't even taste half bad."

Raven's inquisitive stare was getting a little too strong to handle. Thankfully Bellamy jumped in just in time.

"Give them to me," he said, taking two cups from Raven. "I'll make sure she has one." He turned to me like nothing was amiss. "You need to relax, princess," he said. "Let the world rest on its axis for a while."

I rolled my eyes and sighed to play the part and Raven seemed satisfied, leaving Bellamy on 'Clarke duty'. Once she was out of earshot and her back was turned to us, Bellamy downed the two shots back to back.

"What are you doing?" I whispered in shock.

"Taking one for the team," he said still trying to make the hard liquor go down. "She was right, it's not half bad."

I shook my head. "If you keep drinking for both of us, you'll be drunk the entire pregnancy."

The mood was light between us, aided in a way by the two shots in Bellamy's system, and we enjoyed it for a while but it grew heavier when he brought up the subject of my mom.

"You need to tell the Chancellor, Clarke. And not just because she's your mom. What if something happens? What if something goes wrong? She's a doctor, she should know."

"I know. I will. I just need some time to get used to the idea."

"I don't think we're ever getting used to it."

"Well, we still have a few months before the baby gets here."

There was not a sound coming out from Bellamy.

"You can say it, you know. The baby," I said.

"Don't push it, Clarke. I'm not that drunk yet."

Maybe I didn't get to drink that night, but for as long as the fire crackled in front of us I did let the world rest on its axis, sitting on a log next to Bellamy Blake, watching Jasper make a fool of himself dancing to the nonexistent beat, forgetting I had a few months left before my whole life changed.

—— - ——

Well, I didn't have a few months after all. A week after that night by the bonfire, my life was already changing.

Raven found me one morning inside the medical tent bent over a tin can, throwing up everything I had ever consumed in my life and then some.

"Clarke! What the hell? You're still doing that? I know you said bad rations but it's been two days."

"I'm fine," I said, searching for some water to wash my face.

I knew I didn't sound convincing at all. The truth was that I'd been experiencing the joys of morning sickness for three days, except it wasn't limited to morning. It was more of an ever-present thing. I was so concentrated on keeping it from my mom that Raven had already caught me on two of my least bright moments.

"Don't give me that. You look like crap, Clarke. Puking all over the place, you're all pale. You remind me of our next door neighbor back in Meca. She used to throw up all the time when she was..."

_Crap._

"Clarke, you're not-"

She took one look at me and I knew she knew.

"Oh my God, you're pregnant?!"

"Shhht! Raven, don't broadcast it."

"That's why you won't drink Monty's stuff anymore." Suddenly her face shifted from shock to something guarded. "Is it Finn's?"

I could hear the emotion trembling beneath her tone of indifference.

"No," I said quickly. I could see she didn't believe me. I had to tell her the whole truth. "It's Bellamy's," I told her and shock colored her features again.

"What?! When?"

"What does it matter when?"

"It matters because I need some context for this. You and Bellamy? It's too weird."

I sighed in resignation.

"That night after the grounders sent Murphy with the virus, when we blew the bomb on the bridge."

A wicked smile played on her lips. "So I risk my life to save all our asses and you two were rocking the tent? I feel so loved."

"Raven."

"Relax, Clarke. I get it. Blake is a good rebound. Because it was a rebound, right? Or are you two...? Because if you are, I'm going to need a lot more context."

"We're not together," I said. "I'm not saying sleeping with Bellamy was a mistake, but this wasn't supposed to happen."

Raven nodded considering the situation. "You're going to be a mom."

"Don't tell me that. I don't think I can hear it yet."

Raven waved me off. "You'll do fine."

"You don't know that. I'm not supposed to be a mom."

"What are you talking about? You and Bellamy have been babysitting a bunch of juvenile delinquents for the past few months. What more of a trial run do you need? You'll be fine."

I scoffed but it was nice to have the vote of confidence. "Don't say anything, okay?"

Raven's brow shot up. "Abby doesn't know?"

"No, and I'm still not ready to tell her so please."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me twice."

"Thank you."

"You should tell her, though."

_Not this again._ "I know."

"What if something happens?"

"I know! I'll tell her, okay? Just not yet."

"Alright, alright," she said, her hands high. "Man, you're cranky when you're pregnant. Must be the Blake blood."

I shook my head. "Shut up."

— - —

I knew I had to tell my mom, and not just because Bellamy, Octavia and now Raven were nagging me about it, but because it was getting harder and harder to keep the symptoms from her.

First it was the throwing up part. I had to get up at the crack of dawn to sneak out of our quarters before she woke up. I'd been using the early shift in medical as an excuse but it was time for a rotation and she'd find it odd if I kept 'asking' to wake up before the sun. She knows I've never been a morning person.

Then there was the whole swelling-up part. I was closing in on ten weeks and I knew I wasn't properly 'showing' yet, but she was my mom, she'd know something was up. I knew something was up. Even Bellamy made a comment about how I seemed to be getting 'bigger'.

So he wasn't looking at my belly to be exact, but still... If he could tell, so could Abby.

It was the end of week 10 —or week 11, Lincoln still couldn't tell which — when I finally told her. We were getting ready for bed and I took advantage of the fact that for once I wasn't feeling nauseous, so I figured it was then or never. The whole thing went badly, worse than I thought it would.

"Pregnant? How can you be pregnant?"

_She can't expect me to answer that, can she?_ In any case I didn't, so she kept on pacing the small living quarters, gesturing with her hands up and down and taking an occasional glance at me. I just sat there and sighed.

"Since when are you and Bellamy Blake..."

I waited for her to finish the sentence but it became clear that she wasn't going to.

"What?" I said finally. "We're not together if that's what you're asking. It was one night, that's it." I didn't need to justify not being with Bellamy, I just felt she should know how things were.

"You're not ready to be a mother, Clarke. You're still a child."

I had to get up. "Mom, what am I supposed to do?"

She gave me a pointed look and I knew where she was going. I took a step back.

"Don't," I warned her. "I'm not asking you for options, mom, I'm asking you for help. If you can't give me that, then I guess this conversation is over."

I could hear my mother sighing behind me as I headed for the door.

"Clarke, you need to think about this."

I didn't turn to watch the words come out of her.

"I'll find someplace else to sleep in tonight, mom. We can do this later," I said and walked out the door.

That's how I ended up barging into Bellamy's tent in the middle of the night for the second time in my life.

— - —

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from my vacation! I put this together on borrowed time and a borrowed smartphone just because writing is fun. I hope you enjoy it and thank you for the comments and for reading this story. It's great to read your thoughts and share with you. Lots of luv!


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